Often, kids with diabetes feel like all their parents talk to them about is diabetes. The first thing they hear when they get home from school isn't, "How was your day?" but "How were your blood sugars today?" or "Why were you so high this afternoon?"
Growing up with T1D, there weren't CGMs or follow apps that let my parents see my glucose levels remotely. And they could have asked me what my blood sugar was when I did finger sticks at school, which they often did, but they made it a priority to ask me about my day in general first. This really helped me develop a positive relationship with my parents and my diabetes.
I often hear from teenagers that their parents are always "nagging them" about their glucose levels. Sometimes the conflict around glucose data leads teenagers to turn off their CGM or the share feature. As a diabetes educator, I try to help the teenager understand that their parent is trying to help them, even though it's not in a way they feel is productive. Most of them realize this, but still feel frustrated.
I can only imagine how hard it must be as a parent not to overreact to glucose levels that are very high or very low. It takes time, patience, and practice to react calmly to glucose variability in your child. There is a balance between supporting your child enough without becoming overbearing. You also want them to know that they are loved and valued, and their glucose levels will not change that.
Open Dialogue
The biggest piece of advice I hope to impart on caregivers of youth with diabetes is this: have open, honest conversations often. Feelings about diabetes change over time, just as they do with normal development during childhood and adolescence. The older your child gets, the more autonomy you will want to foster. But even when they know how to do it all themselves, offering support throughout young adulthood has been shown to improve outcomes.
Make it Fun
Consider trying things like using GIFs, memes, or emojis to communicate. Come up with a code that you and your child know — it can be whatever you want! Diabetes is a lot of stress, so the more levity we can infuse in it, the better.
Customize Alerts
It may be that you only need to be alerted if your child is below 55 mg/dL or above 400 mg/dL for two hours. Maybe you can try loosening up the threshold for which you get alarms and see how it goes for a week, then re-evaluate. Talk to your diabetes care team, see what they recommend.
Above all, remember that you are also only human. It is only natural for you to worry about your child. Like all areas of parenting, you will do some things right, and you'll make many mistakes. Give yourself and your child compassion and grace. All we can do is try, and that is enough.
Written and clinically reviewed by Marissa Hitchcock, PWD, BSN, RN, CDCES
