Fourteen Novembers

You count the carbs at breakfast, watch the numbers on the screen
Ride the highs and ride the lows, and all the in-between
You figured you were carryin’ this heavy on your own
Drinking juice there in the quiet made you feel so all alone

You already had it, the strength was always you
You already had it. Now share with those who need it too
The brave and the bright, it was yours all along
Friend, you already had it

He always had a spark inside and never knew the why
She always held the kind of brave that learns to close her eyes and fly
A compass deep inside, been pointin’ home all the while
Turns out the missing piece of everything was a piece of you yourself

You already had it. Your spark is the piece we need.
You already had it. Now share it with your crew for life
The brave and the bright, it was yours all along
Friend, you already had it

So when the bridge is fadin’ and there’s one light left to spend
Don’t go it all alone, no — call on your new friends
“Don’t look at the gap,” she said, “you just look at me
Now jump — I’ve got you” — and that’s all you’ll ever need

You already had it, the strength was always you
You already had it before you found your crew for life
The brave and the bright, it was yours all along
We’ll be your crew forever — we already had it

Yeah, all along
We'll be your crew forever, we already had it

Woke up late, the coffee’s cold
I just stepped on a pen needle
Stumbled out into the hall
And the door attacked my pump again

Am I high again?
My arm smells like insulin
Same old plot twist
Same old trend

Am I high again?
No, I’m low again
Give me three tabs
We can try again

Truck on the highway, sun hangin’ low
Juicebox empties from the night before
Empty little boxes from a long string of lows
Pulled off the road, treatin’ one more

Am I high again?
SugarPixel glowin’ in the den
Same old plot twist
Same old trend

Am I high again?
No, I’m low again
Give me three tabs
We can try again

Tired of the high, tired of the low
Tired of this road I’m on
So I press play and let it ride
Scott talkin’ me through the long haul
Bolus tips and Pro Tips spinnin’
Mile marker after mile
Learnin’ somethin’ every episode
And I’m rollin’ with a half a smile

Am I high again?
My arm smells like insulin
Same old plot twist
Same old trend

Am I high again?
No, I’m low again
Press play on the Juicebox
Let Scott talk me down again

Am I high again?
My arm smells like insulin
Same old plot twist
Same old trend

Am I high again?
No, I’m low again
Press play on the Juicebox
Let Scott talk me down again

Woke up and the number’s smiling
Right in range like it belongs
No alarm to start the morning
Just the radio and a song

SugarPixel’s keeping quiet
Steady line across the screen
First time in a country minute
That the trail ahead looks clean

No math before my coffee
No correction, no repair
Just a flat and pretty highway
And a little mountain air

I caught a unicorn today
A hundred sittin’ pretty on the screen
Nothing buzzing, nothing dropping
Cleanest line I’ve ever seen
I caught a unicorn today
Gonna ride it while it’s here
‘Cause I know this kind of magic
Don’t come ’round but once a year

Got the Juicebox podcast playing
Scott and somebody who knows
Telling stories like a campfire
While the open country rolls

And for once I’m just a listener
Not a soldier in the fight
Pump’s behaving, body’s easy
And the reading’s dialed in right

No shaky hands by lunchtime
No ghost low in the night
Just a saddle and a sunset
And a number sitting right

I caught a unicorn today
A hundred sittin’ pretty on the screen
Nothing buzzing, nothing dropping
Cleanest line I’ve ever seen
I caught a unicorn today
Gonna ride it while it’s here
‘Cause I know this kind of magic
Don’t come ’round but once a year

I won’t pretend it’s always like this
Lord knows tomorrow’s got its teeth
But today the line ran level
And I felt the ground beneath
So I’ll bottle up this good one
Tuck it deep inside my coat
For the nights I’m running ragged
It’s the easy day I’ll quote

I caught a unicorn today
A hundred sittin’ pretty on the screen
Nothing buzzing, nothing dropping
Cleanest line I’ve ever seen
I caught a unicorn today
Gonna ride it while it’s here
‘Cause I know this kind of magic
Don’t come ’round but once a year

Steady now
Sky’s so wide
Caught a unicorn
Easy ride

The house is doing nothing
Just the hum behind the wall
Then the CGM sirens
Say I’m sinking down the hall

I know this ceiling pretty well
I’ve counted every crack
Three a.m. and wide awake
Negotiating my way back

Bare feet on the kitchen tile
Juice box in the dark
I don’t turn the big light on
I just go by the Pixel spark

Graveyard shift again
Nobody clocks me in
This body doesn’t sleep
It just lets the morning win
Graveyard shift again
Same glow on the wall
I’ll be up before the sun
I’ll catch it ‘fore the fall

My mom sleeps with one ear open
Down the hallway, just in case
She says she hears the buzzing
Before it’s on my face

I’ve got Scott in my earbuds,
Juicebox podcast, someone’s voice
Another person wide awake
Who didn’t get a choice

Fifteen carbs and waiting
Watching for the climb
The slowest kind of patience
Is the kind you do at night

Graveyard shift again
Nobody clocks me in
This body doesn’t sleep
It just lets the morning win
Graveyard shift again
Same glow on the wall
I’ll be up before the sun
I’ll catch it ‘fore the fall

There’s a club nobody joins on purpose
We just meet here in the dark
Trading numbers like ghost stories
Every one of us a little marked
And I’d trade it in a heartbeat
For one boring, dreamless night
But the reading’s holding steady
So I’ll take the win — I’m fine

Graveyard shift again
Nobody clocks me in
This body doesn’t sleep
It just lets the morning win
Graveyard shift again
Same glow on the wall
I’ll be up before the sun
I’ll catch it ‘fore the fall

Back to bed
Sun’s not up
Back to bed
That’s enough

I left my meter on the counter
Like a dare from my own brain
That little screen is blinking, honey
Here we go and dance again

Pocket full of sugar dust
And a juice box by the sink
I’m not aloof, I’m just doing math
While everybody else can think

Hands a little shaky
SugarPixel wails
I swear I’m fine, I’m fine
Then the sensor fails

Can I borrow one?
I’m down to my last
Sensor’s reading errors
And the shipment isn’t fast
Can I borrow one?
I’ll give it back, I swear
Soon as insurance ships me mine
I’ll pay you fair and square

I’m rolling down this long highway
Juicebox podcast riding with me
Scott’s got someone on there talking
’Bout a night they didn’t see

How the sensor just gave out on them
Just an error and a beep
And I’m nodding at the windshield
‘Cause that’s the company I keep

Buzzing in my pocket
Numbers in my head
If I wait one minute more
I’ll use that 10 year old lancet instead

Can I borrow one?
I’m down to my last
Sensor’s reading errors
And the shipment isn’t fast
Can I borrow one?
I’ll give it back, I swear
Soon as insurance ships me mine
I’ll pay you fair and square

It’s not a joke, but it’s my joke
If I laugh, I can breathe
I know my body’s doing tax stuff
On every single meal I eat

So save me some gummies
And don’t make it weird
I’m still me when my sugar’s acting up
Just a little more engineered here

Can I borrow one?
I need it fast
SugarPixel’s screaming sensor error
And that one was my last
Can I borrow one?
I’ll give it back, I swear
Soon as insurance ships me mine
I’ll pay you fair and square

Check, sip, breathe
Back to me
Check, sip, breathe
Back to me

Sittin’ in a meetin’, quiet as can be
Boss is goin’ on about the quarter
Tryin’ to look important, noddin’ along
Then my pocket started talkin’

Whole room turned around to look at me
I just stared down at the table
Said don’t mind that, folks, go on ahead
Like I couldn’t hear a thing

The CGM said what? (what)
Right out loud in front of everyone
The CGM said what? (what)
Couldn’t make it stop, couldn’t make it run
I got no secrets left, no place to hide
That little robot voice done broadcast it citywide
Thanks a lot, now everybody knows
The CGM said what?

Took a girl to dinner, tryin’ to impress
Candlelight, the whole nine yards
Leaned in close to say somethin’ smooth
And my CGM beat me to it

She said what on earth was that
I said that’d be my number talkin’
She laughed so hard she nearly fell out the booth
Second date’s on Friday, so I think we’re good

The CGM said what? (what)
Right out loud in front of everyone
The CGM said what? (what)
Couldn’t make it stop, couldn’t make it run
I got no secrets left, no place to hide
That little robot voice done broadcast it citywide
Thanks a lot, now everybody knows
The CGM said what?

Finally got the family on the couch
Movie night, everybody quiet
Lights down low, popcorn ready
Best part of the show comin’ up

Then that robot yelled from my pocket
Said my number to the whole room
Kids all hollered, hey, we heard that
Hey what, (what, what)
Hey what, (what, what)

The CGM said what?
Right out loud in front of everyone
The CGM said what?
Couldn’t make it stop, couldn’t make it run
I got no secrets left, no place to hide
That little robot voice done broadcast it citywide
Thanks a lot, now everybody knows
The CGM said what?

It talks in the library
It talks in the pew
It talks at the dentist
Right mid-cleanin’ too
I made my peace with it a while ago
Ain’t no use to fight
‘Cause that little voice is lookin’ out for me
Even when the timin’s not right

The CGM said what? (what)
Right out loud in front of everyone
The CGM said what? (what)
Couldn’t make it stop, couldn’t make it run
I got no secrets left, no place to hide
That little robot voice done broadcast it citywide
Thanks a lot, now everybody knows
The CGM said what?

And it said it again
On the way out the door
The CGM said what?

Three in the mornin’, dead asleep
Heard a little chirp, then I heard a beep
Sat straight up, looked around the room
Somethin’ in this house was goin’ boom boom boom

Wasn’t the Pixel, wasn’t my arm
Wasn’t my phone, wasn’t a fire alarm
Checked the microwave, checked the door
Still don’t know what it’s beepin’ for

Something’s beepin’
And it isn’t me
Tore apart the kitchen
Can’t find where it could be
Checked the smoke alarm
Checked the CGM
Somethin’ in this house is beepin’
And here we go again

Changed my pod at the mall one day
Tossed the old one in the trash and walked away
Didn’t think a thing, went browsin’ for a while
Til I heard it beepin’ from a country mile

Next thing I know there’s a crowd, there’s a truck
Somebody called it in, now we’re all stuck
Watched a robot roll up to a Coke can and a pod
Sir, that’s insulin, not a bomb

Something’s beepin’
And it isn’t me
Tore apart the kitchen
Can’t find where it could be
Checked the smoke alarm
Checked the CGM
Somethin’ in this house is beepin’
And here we go again

It’s the pump, it’s the sensor
It’s the timer on the stove
It’s the truck outside in reverse
It’s a battery gettin’ old
I have checked this whole dang house
From the ceilin’ to the floor
And I swear on everything
I cannot take it anymore

Something’s beepin’
And it isn’t me
Tore apart the kitchen
Can’t find where it could be
Checked the smoke alarm
Checked the CGM
Somethin’ in this house is beepin’

Wait
Found it
It was me

Sittin’ on the couch, half asleep
Wasn’t even payin’ it mind
Looked up and there it was
A perfect flat line

Set my fork down nice and slow
Backed away from the screen
Told the kid don’t even sneeze
This might be a dream

Shhh, nobody move
Nobody breathe
Just let it ride
We caught the perfect line

Word went quiet through the house
Everybody walkin’ on toes
Even the dog laid down real still
Like somehow he knows

Phone on silent, lights down low
Ain’t nobody makin’ a sound
SugarPixel with that unicorn glow
One perfect number, safe and sound

Don’t text it to the group chat
Don’t let it leave the room
‘Cause the second that you brag about it
It’s gone too soon

Nobody move
Nobody breathe
Just let it ride
We caught the perfect line

And it never stays, it never does
Five good minutes, then it’s gone
Off chasin’ some high or low
But for a little while, we won

Nobody move
Nobody breathe
Just let it ride
We caught the perfect line

Nobody move
Nobody breathe
Just let it ride
We caught the perfect line

Shhh

It was a quiet Tuesday night
Nothin’ special, kitchen light
I glanced over at the Pixel on the shelf
And there you were, all by yourself

One hundred, lookin’ right at me
Flat and calm as you could be
I forgot to breathe, I forgot my name
Knew nothin’ would ever be the same

Oh, one hundred
You were only mine for a minute
Steady and sweet and right
Like you’d always been here
I didn’t get to keep you
But man, you were beautiful
For one perfect minute
You were exactly where I wanted you

I should’ve known you wouldn’t stay
The pretty ones all drift away
I tried to hold the moment still
But a number’s got a mind and a will

By the time I called the kids to see
You were already leavin’ me
A little arrow turnin’ slow
Off to somewhere I couldn’t go

And I’d have given anything
To freeze that little glowin’ screen
But you were never mine to keep
You were just a dream

Oh, one hundred
You were only mine for a minute
Steady and sweet and right
Like you’d always been here
I didn’t get to keep you
But man, you were beautiful
For one perfect minute
You were exactly where I wanted you

Now every night I check the shelf
Half hopin’ you’ll come back yourself
I’ve seen a thousand numbers since
But not a one of them was you
Not a single one was you

Oh, one hundred
You were only mine for a minute
Steady and sweet and right
Like you’d always been here
I didn’t get to keep you
But man, you were beautiful
For one perfect minute
You were exactly where I wanted you

The Pixel’s glowin’ soft tonight
Some other number, some other light
But I’ll be watchin’, just in case
You come back home

Brought you home so small and new
Didn’t come with a guide for you
Learned to count, learned to dose
Learned to watch the numbers close

Set the Pixel by your bed
So I’d see green instead of red
Some nights I just watched it glow
Made sure you were okay, you’ll never know

This one wasn’t luck
This one wasn’t chance
This was every sleepless night
Every second glance
Every carb I counted
Every alarm I beat
This one’s years in the makin’
And this one’s ours to keep

You don’t see the math I do
The quiet worry I carry through
The 3am, the just-in-case
The way I memorized your face

But you’re growin’ brave and strong
Wakin’ to your own alarms
And one day you won’t need me near
But I’ll still be right here

‘Cause we have watched a thousand nights
Turn that little screen to light
And tonight it landed true
One perfect hundred, just for you

This one wasn’t luck
This one wasn’t chance
This was every sleepless night
Every second glance
Every carb we counted
Every alarm we’d beat
This one’s years in the makin’
And this one’s ours to keep

We’d do it all again
The needles and the fear
Every single number
That ever brought us here
‘Cause look at you now, baby
Look at what we made
A perfect little moment
Out of all that we gave

This one wasn’t luck
This one wasn’t chance
This was every sleepless night
Every second glance
Every carb we counted
Every alarm we’d beat
This one’s years in the makin’
And this one’s ours to keep

The night is quiet, calm and green
Best number we’ve ever seen
You’re sound asleep, you’re safe, you’re sound
And this one’s ours to keep